


Hidden Track: Hourglass

by bugiiwonderland



Category: NU'EST, Wanna One (Band)
Genre: Angst, Hahaha I'm Sorry, Implied/Referenced Character Death, M/M, MAJOR CHARACTER DEATH AND ANGST, VERY SLIGHT 2HYUN, okay that's enough CHARACTER DEATH tag, there's some fluff here swear
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-19
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-05-14 19:03:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,175
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19279258
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bugiiwonderland/pseuds/bugiiwonderland
Summary: “Are you upset?” Seongwu asks, taking his hand. He rolls his eyes and takes a burger on the table, unwrapping it and passing on to the other. Seongwu beams at him, but instead of taking the burger, Seongwu takes a bite instead making Jonghyun sigh as he feeds Seongwu.“You’re such a big baby Ong.” Seongwu chuckles and takes another bite, arms wrapping on Jonghyun’s waist.“A handsome big baby that you’ll surely miss.” Seongwu jokes and Jonghyun frowns at the other.“It’s not funny Ong.” He whispers,“You can’t joke about that.”





	1. Hourglass

**Author's Note:**

> Note: Italicized paragraphs are a trip down to memory lane and [click this link if you want more, deeper, profound, whatever feels <33333](https://open.spotify.com/playlist/0MAeVKXSemZNdOuIfIHgJ1?si=UyeHWNflTvyd-j5j7keARA)  
>  
> 
> a very big shout out to the people who helped me in this agonizing journey <33333
> 
> Josh, who not only proof-read, beta'd, and been the punching bag to my shit XD but also taught me and been a huge help in this fic (and the others) thank you and ILY <33333
> 
> Belle belle who love and supported and always made me smile, ILY dal <33333
> 
> [Far](https://archiveofourown.org/users/wintercrystale/pseuds/wintercrystale) who kept on flirting with me HAHAHAHAH KIDDING XD and giving me the confidence that this is enough, ILY, get our colas ready! :*
> 
> Kelly who cried in the morning HAHAHAHAHA ILY MY DONGSAENG <33333
> 
> the other evil sister who actually been really the punching bag from the beginning, from bouncing ideas to finally starting to write this, thank you and ILY Shani :*
> 
> and lastly to [Erin](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamsailing) who I got this amazing prompt from and promised a happy ending XD I'm sorry be :(( you know that ILY right? :*

**_PROLOGUE_ **

 

_“You’re awake.” Jonghyun says as he greets the man with a smile. He helps the man sit up, careful not to pull him with so much force as he puts a pillow on his back._

_“How are you feeling?” He asks sitting on the bed next to the man. He gently brushes the stray hair from his eyes, his thumb caressing the once glowing skin of the man that he loves that now has turned pale and hollowed._

_The man leans in his hand and smiles. “Better.”_

_“Good.” That was all Jonghyun can say as he watches the man’s body deteriorate every single day. Good was all he can say as the time bomb’s ticks grows louder with each passing hour. Good was all he can say as he watches the man that he loves in grueling pain knowing that this might be the last._

_That any moment might be the end._

_“I love you.” Jonghyun whispers, kissing the man. He can feel the man smile against his lips and it heals him and at the same time breaks him apart._

_“I love you too, Jong.”_

 

**_PRESENT_ **

 

The sound of the glass doors opening resonates in the gallery, making Jinyoung run quickly towards the entrance.

Jonghyun takes a look at the gallery. The final outcome isn’t something new to him since he was part of the people who was behind this exhibition, but still it surprises him. Everything was exactly just how Seongwu wanted it to be. Just like what Seongwu imagined it to be 8 months ago. Jonghyun closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. Storing his feelings, locking it away as images of Seongwu flooded his mind.

_Seongwu being in his happy element for the first time in months since they’ve arrived in L.A._

_Seongwu excitedly blabbing on how he wants to hold an exhibition after they went to one._

_Seongwu smiling and laughing as if he wasn’t sick._

_As if he isn’t dying._

_As if he isn’t afraid that one day, he won’t wake up._

Jonghyun remembers how Minki told him worriedly that this exhibition is impossible to be done on such short time period. How it’s not a good idea since Seongwu needs to rest and not use the last of his remaining strength and time for something irrational like this. But seeing how Seongwu’s so excited, how he absentmindedly hums as he starts planning, the way his brows furrowed and how he bites his lip as he continues to sketch layouts over layouts for his _first_ and _last_ exhibition makes Jonghyun think otherwise.

They have to do everything they can to make the impossible happen. No questions asked, they just have to make it in time before Seongwu leaves them.

In less than 6 months, they were able to make it happen.

_Sadly, Seongwu wasn’t able to see it._

Jonghyun opens his eyes and starts walking in the gallery, looking everywhere and nowhere, taking every detail that Seongwu designed, taking it all in—taking everything with him, wishing and hoping that by doing this, it will make it less painful. That by doing this… he’ll be able to accept it.

_Just like how he prepared himself for this moment._

“I’m sorry but we’re—” Jinyoung says panting. Jonghyun turns and greets the other with a small smile. The surprise on Jinyoung’s face is beyond words and comical. The latter’s eyes bugging out as if he just saw a ghost and his lips forming a big letter ‘ _O’._

On a normal day, Jonghyun would tease Jinyoung on how he’s enamored by his visuals yet again, but tonight isn’t a normal day, and he doesn’t think his days will go back to normal, so he just offers a small smile.

“Hyung…” Jinyoung murmurs, “You’re…here.” still can’t believe that he is really here. To be honest, if he’s in Jinyoung’s shoes Jonghyun wouldn’t believe it either.

Going here is like a suicide mission.

Being here is a trip down to hell.

An ice cold dose of water reminding Jonghyun that Seongwu is gone and will never come back.

Jonghyun looks away from Jinyoung’s worried gaze and instead focuses on the displays that’s lining the walls that the other photographers who joined them took.

One catches his eye, a picture of two all too familiar bodies laughing and seemingly enjoying their time at the beach.

_Him and Minki._

Jonghyun softly brushes the frame of the photograph with his fingers, remembering that time when Seongwu was still a little bit better to go on trips like this in L.A. and how he still looks good—magnificent even, that no one would notice how the latter’s fighting a losing battle unless they knew him before and see how thin he had become in such a short time, how his eyebags are so dark that no amount of concealer that Minki puts can hide it away.

Jonghyun smiles remembering how Seongwu is happy that day.

Not really happy like how he was before, but happy nevertheless as he takes countless pictures at the beach, flashing a lazy smile every now and then at Jonghyun, as he smiles in return.  

“ _Hyung..?_ ” Jinyoung brings him back to reality and he sighs and nods.

“I’m okay Jinyoung, I just...” He shrugs, “I have to be here...” Jinyoung doesn’t answer and just looks at him, scrutinizing his face and probably wondering if he should pull him out of the gallery. It was after a few minutes when Jonghyun hears Jinyoung sigh, a sign that he knows that he won’t be kicked out.

“I’ll just be here if you... need me,” Jinyoung tells him, squeezing his shoulders. Jonghyun nods not wanting to say anything more. He’s still in front of Seongwu’s work and the last couple of minutes that he’s been here staring at it, brings too many memories. Emotions that Jonghyun’s been bottling up for the last few days.

Jinyoung must’ve noticed since the younger’s grip on his shoulders tightens.

“At some point, you have to let it all out hyung,” Jinyoung squeezes his shoulder, “you can’t keep it all in...” Jonghyun bites his lower lip and looks down. Stopping his quivering lips, stopping the tears that are about to fall, stopping the myriad of emotions to come crashing down and take the last bit of control that he has with it.

He can’t do this now. He can’t lose it now when he’s been holding it all up so well—he can’t lose it now when he’s _here_.

Seongwu wouldn’t want that.

He promised Seongwu that he wouldn’t cry.

So he keeps it all in.

He hears another sigh coming from Jinyoung and a whisper from the other telling him that he’ll be in the staff room if he needs him. Jonghyun nods as Jinyoung’s footsteps echoes in the gallery. He doesn’t look anywhere aside from the photograph in front of him as he clenches his fists. Clenching it until he can feel the pain from his nails digging into his palms as he creates another layer, another wall among the countless walls that he created since that day. He closes his eyes and thinks of a happy memory. A happy memory that could take this all away. A happy memory that would remind him of the good things—of the happy memories that he shared with Seongwu that would take this feeling away, that would help him overcome this painful feeling even for just an hour.

Just an hour. Just one more hour.

He hears the faint sound of a door closing and Jonghyun lets out a breath. He starts walking, checking every display yet remembering none of it as he passes by.

It’s when he’s at the hallway connecting to the other part of the gallery when he notices the changes on the photographs. From the _wide shots_ in the first part of the display to _full shots_ which emphasizes the subjects’ details.

Jonghyun passes by it blearily. He knows that Seongwu didn’t take any of those shots so he continues to walk without paying attention to anything until he sees a horrifying photo of Minki carrying his _Chucky_ doll in the air with a fond smile as if it’s a real baby and not a monstrous abomination.  

For the first time in 5 days, he smiles.

He stares at the picture and shakes his head in amusement. Thank god for Seongwu’s photography skills and that’s in black and white and only focuses on Minki’s bright smile or this would look like a portrait in a horror movie.

 

He enters the second part of the gallery and is amazed again on how everything is just like what Seongwu wanted it to be. He really should thank Minki, Cheol and Jinyoung for doing the impossible.

The room resembles the cafe that they usually hang-out in Seoul. The room is lit by dangling ceiling lights, coffee tables with photographs and mugs of coffee on it. The walls of the room has two layers of long shelves with pictures on it.  

Choi Minki went all out and delivered.

Jonghyun smiles as he looks at the displays one by one. His brows starts to furrow when he still hasn’t seen Seongwu’s until he realizes that he was looking at the wrong place.

At the far end of the room, there’s a small platform and on it was a coffee table, two dark brown comfy armchairs, and a ceiling light dangling from the ceiling—exactly the same as his and Seongwu’s spot.

If Minki went all out, Seongwu went above and beyond.

Jonghyun shakes his head at Seongwu’s dramatic antics as he walks towards it. Noticing how instead of photographs on the shelves, the wall is decorated with countless photographs.

Jonghyun takes a seat, smiling as he sees the pictures.

It’s like a huge canvas of countless people _smiling, laughing, hugging, kissing_ , and everything that symbolizes _happiness_ and _love ._

Jonghyun takes his time in looking at every picture, smiling every now and then at the pictures on the wall.

_A father with his daughter on his shoulders,_

_A couple smiling fondly at their newly born son,_

_A young man giving his boyfriend who’s almost in tears a puppy,_

_A lady proposing to her girlfriend as the sun sets,_

_An old couple smiling at each other as they walk along the restaurants,_

_Two kids with ice cream on their faces laughing at each other,_

_And… lastly, four teenagers in their togas._

Jonghyun’s smiles fondly at the old picture of them.

Minki at the far end, beaming at the camera with his hand raised that Jonghyun can almost hear his voice screaming _hurray we’re done bitches!_ , Cheol on the opposite with that mischievous smirk of his that everyone falls in love with, and in between the _Choi’s_ , it’s Seongwu and him, looking at each other happily, lovingly as if there are no other people with them, and it’s just the two of them.

Just like it once had been.

 

_“We’ve made it, Happy Anniversary my love.” Seongwu murmurs, leaning his forehead into his. He chuckles and snuggles at the other. Brushing their foreheads together._

_“Happy 2nd year, my Greek Seal.” He says kissing him on the forehead. Seongwu closes his eyes and hums._

_“Minki stop yelling profanities for pete’s sake,” Jonghyun hears Minki’s brother say. Seongwu and him chuckle as Minki rolls his eyes and Cheol complaining to his older cousin to hurry up and take their picture._

_“These brats…” Minki’s brother grumbles, “I’m taking it—1, 2...” Jonghyun’s about to face front but Seongwu holds him in place, placing a light kiss on his lips._

_“I love you Jonghyun.” Seongwu tells him, looking at him with so much love. Jonghyun smiles._

_“I love you too Seongwu.”_

_“3.”_

 

“Have some…” Jinyoung looks at him apologetically not finishing his sentence. The younger  places two iced coffees and 2 slices of cake on the table. Jonghyun snickers, he knows it’s Seongwu’s idea. After all, who else would come up with this plan?

“Is there anything else..?” He asks the younger, taking a small amount of cake. The younger sighs and nods. “What is it?”

“I don’t think you’ll like it hyung…”

Jonghyun chuckles tiredly, taking a sip from his iced latte. “I’m sure it’s not worse than this… so just do it.”

“It _might_ be worse than this hyung.” Jinyoung warns and Jonghyun nods.

“It’s okay, I’m sure I can handle it…” he says, because it’s true. Nothing can beat losing Seongwu, and if the other planned this for him, then who is Jonghyun to stop him? Especially when Seongwu planned this in his deathbed.

He hears Jinyoung sigh and whisper _‘I definitely warned you’_ as he takes out his phone and walks out of the room. Not a minute longer, _Ed Sheeran’s Perfect_ fills the room.

“ _Asshat,_ ” Jonghyun curses.

It’s really worse than the cakes and coffees.

 

_Maybe it’s the rain, maybe it’s Ed Sheeran’s Perfect playing in full blast, but whatever it is, for now, Jonghyun just wants to enjoy and forget about everything._

_For once, he’ll let himself believe that everything is okay, that everything is not crumbling and that they’re not afraid._  

 _For once, he won’t think that they’re stuck in limbo as they wait for the ticking time-bomb to explode._  

_"What do you want for dessert Jong?" Seongwu asks him not looking up from the restaurant’s menu._

_For once, he won’t think of the other that he left, the one that he hurt. For once he’ll smile and laugh, just like how he and Seongwu were before._

_“Blueberry cheesecake.” He says, reaching for Seongwu’s hand and interlacing their fingers. Seongwu looks at him surprised then it turns into a  gentle smile._

_“You?” He asks, placing a light kiss on the back of Seongwu’s hand._

_“Strawberry Tiramisu,” Seongwu softly smiles at him, brushing the stray hair from his eyes, just like the old times._

_For once, Jonghyun wants to be true to what he feels. That no matter how sick, insane and selfish he is, he loves Seongwu and will always love him the same way that he loves the other._

_And for once, he says it._

_“I love you.” He says, leaning his head into Seongwu’s hand as he holds it. Telling Seongwu that he’s sorry for hurting him, for not knowing and even trying to understand his actions of leaving him but instead he chose to wallow in bitterness, blaming the other, forgetting that Seongwu only wants the best for him, to protect him, that the other wants him to be happy and not to be hurt once he leaves._

_“I love you.” Jonghyun says again, telling Seongwu how his thankful that he still accepted him, allowed him to be with him, accepted him even if it means that he’ll be reminded that his heart is no longer just for him. Accepted him when Jonghyun doesn't deserve it after hurting him so much._

_“I love you.” Jonghyun says, placing a chaste kiss on Seongwu’s lips. No other reasons aside from the meaning of those three words._

_Just like it once had been, just like how it will be._

_Seongwu nods, brushing something off from his cheeks, planting a light kiss on his forehead._

_“I love you too Jonghyun. Always have and always will.”_

 

“I love you.” Jonghyun murmurs, his fingers brushing their graduation picture. “Always have and always will.”

He stands, leaving the unfinished _Iced Vanilla Latte_ and _Blueberry Cheesecake_ together with the untouched _Iced Caramel Macchiato_ and _Strawberry Tiramisu._

 

 

The last part of the gallery is something that Jonghyun has no idea of. Seongwu said that it’s off limits to him and only planned it with Minki.

And now he knows why.

The whole room is the night sky.

_Figuratively and literally._

He knows why Seongwu did this and it’s like a sharp stab in his body followed by a hard blow over and over again as Seongwu’s words echoed in his mind.

_“If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t be the Jonghyun now. If it weren’t for him, you wouldn’t find who you are. You wouldn’t be the Jonghyun that’s here with me, the person that I thought I couldn’t love more, but fell in love more.”_

He knows what Seongwu told him is true. But, is it worth it? Is it worth the pain? The sacrifice? The scars that they all share?

Given that without one of the other, they won’t be the person that they are today, but they could have done better.

They could have learned without hurting each other.

They could love one another without being reminded of the pain of the other.

The room is painted in different and darkest shades of blue from floor to ceiling blending in to the beautiful night sky that you can see from the glass ceiling. He scans the room and sees little splotches of yellow here and there, adorned with dimmed fairy lights to showcase the photographs that the room holds.

Like the other rooms before this, this too has countless pictures of people, but Jonghyun sees that unlike the other room, it has a lot of pictures of them.

_Their baby pictures,_

_High School pictures of Seongwu, Minki, Cheol and him,_

_Pictures on their trip as four,_

_Candid pictures of Minki,_

_Wacky pictures of Cheol and him and Seongwu and Minki,_

_And pictures of him with Minhyun after he and Seongwu broke up._

**_“Smile,_ ** _”_ Jonghyun quickly turns and looks around. He knows that voice. The voice that he begged so hard to hear again.

The voice of the man that he begged over and over again to wake up as Minki pulls him, embracing him as tears stream down on their faces.

The voice of the man that he loved and will always love.

 **“** ** _I said ‘smile’ not scowl. Why are you scowling?”_** The voice says and Jonghyun runs, runs where the voice comes from only to see an old TV playing at the center playing a video.

It’s a video of them at the beach.

It’s that time when Seongwu and him are almost back to normal, no longer walking on eggshells and just being them like how they are back when they’re still together.

 **_“Enough pictures Seongwu.”_ **The Jonghyun in the video says pushing the camera away. Seongwu chuckles and holds onto his hand.

**_“Just one more,”_ **

**_“You’ve been saying that for the last 30 minutes.”_ **The Jonghyun in the video scowls and pulls his hand away from the other and walks away. Seongwu quickly follows him, letting go of the camera, making the video turn lopsided and sway as Seongwu continues to walk towards him.

 **_“Are you upset?”_ **Seongwu asks, reaching for his hand. He rolls his eyes and takes a burger on the table, unwrapping it and passing on to the other. Seongwu beams at him, but instead of taking the burger, Seongwu takes a bite instead making Jonghyun sigh as he feeds Seongwu.

 **_“You’re such a big baby Ong.”_ **Seongwu chuckles and takes another bite, arms wrapping on Jonghyun’s waist.

 **_“A handsome big baby that you’ll surely miss.”_ **Seongwu jokes but the Jonghyun in the video face fells, reminded that Seongwu wouldn’t stay longer. That sooner or later Seongwu will leave.

 **_“It’s not funny Ong.”_ ** He whispers, voice laced with fear of what’s about to happen. **_“You can’t joke about that.”_ **

Instead of apologizing, Seongwu hugs him instead.

 **_“I love you Jong and I will always be with you.”_** Seongwu whispers **_“Always remember that.”_**  the video ends and goes static.

Jonghyun closes his eyes. Engulfing himself in Seongwu’s words, his voice and reminding himself that Seongwu is here. Will always be here with him.

 

 **_“I didn’t know you like the night sky...”_ ** Jonghyun freezes. He remembers that night.

He opens his eyes and watches the video. He didn’t know that Seongwu’s camera was still recording that time and the latter probably didn’t know either because the video shows an out of frame view of them on the terrace.

The Jonghyun in the video doesn’t answer and Jonghyun knows why.

**_“It’s because of him… isn’t it?”_ **

No answer. Jonghyun remembers how he turned stiff as his mind is busy shaking off images of Minhyun and him under the night skies. Images of the last time he saw the pained look on Minhyun’s face before he left. Images of Seongwu hugging him and telling him how sorry he is on the plane and telling him to go back and that he’ll be okay and he doesn’t need to go with him, making Jonghyun miss the gentle smile that Seongwu’s giving him.

Instead of feeling hurt, Seongwu is looking at him warmly. As if talking about Minhyun doesn’t hurt him. As if it doesn’t remind him how things have changed since he left, how Minhyun filled the part that he left.

A part that will always be there just like how Seongwu’s part in his life is embedded.

How the three of them will always be together in this mess, cruelly entangled, sharing this pain, this scar that will always be with them.

 

_“You know, there are a lot of times wherein I think that if things didn’t happen this way…” Seongwu pauses and smiles at him “Minhyun and I will become good friends.”_

_“Seongwu.” He warns and Seongwu chuckles, pulling him closer to him._

_“I know, I know…” Seongwu smiles at him lazily before his face turns all serious. “but listen, I… I have something to tell you.”_

_He sighs exasperatedly and nods, the taller mumbles a soft thank you and kisses him on the forehead._

_“There’s something I’ve kept because I wasn’t sure and well… a part of me didn’t want to admit it.”_

_“What do you mean?” He asks, and Seongwu looks at him with a tired smile._

_“Remember the day that we first met?” Seongwu asks and he nods. Jonghyun doesn’t understand why Seongwu’s opening this up when they’re talking about Minhyun._

_“Before you demanded me to share that umbrella with you, I first saw you on the bus… with him.”_

_Jonghyun wants to ask what Seongwu is spouting about but he doesn’t know where to start, because how is that possible? He met Minhyun again at Aron’s club launch the first time._

_“I was already in the bus and you were sitting at the waiting shed busy playing with your phone, Minhyun was there standing at the far end, watching you with a fond smile with his umbrella, so I thought what a cute couple.” Seongwu smiles at him, waiting for Jonghyun to digest everything that he said. He nods for the other to continue and Seongwu smiles, brushing the stray hair from his eyes._

_“I started playing on my phone then, you got on the bus, he followed next but he sat in the seat across from yours and you didn’t talk—at all. So I thought, oh they must have an argument? Why aren’t you guys sitting next to each other when there’s a vacant seat next to you, right? So I started paying attention to you guys.”_

_Jonghyun tries his best to remember that day, but he doesn’t. He doesn’t even remember seeing Minhyun nor felt that someone was following him._

_“As I continued to watch the two of you, I noticed the way Minhyun smiles fondly at you when you’re biting your lip fully absorbed in your game, how Minhyun cackles so loud when you lost a round, and how when it started to rain, Minhyun immediately took out a jacket in his bag, waiting for the time to give it to you. And while I was doing that, I begin to understand why he looks at you as if you hung the stars to sky, I started smiling when you crinkle your cute little nose,” Seongwu nudges his nose._

_“I started leaning close to see your beautiful smile closer, and I almost stood up and threw your game boy when you lost another round.” Seongwu laughs, “We reached our stop, and you quickly ran towards the shed and as usual Minhyun followed and gave you the umbrella and the jacket buy you rejected it, eventually Minhyun opened his umbrella and placed it on your hand and just left. It was funny and cute, it also made me wish was that I was him…” Seongwu adds more of a whisper before he gazes at him again._

_“and you know what happened next, you saw me and demanded me to share an umbrella with you.” Jonghyun nods, he remembers that part vividly, how Seongwu looked at him confused then annoyed._

_“So that’s why you looked annoyed and treated me coldly when I didn’t even know you.” Jonghyun states and Seongwu smiles at him apologetically._

_“It’s not really for you… but at that time, I hated myself. I hated how I felt happy that I can be that person even for a short period of time. I hate how I was over the moon when moments ago, I saw him with you. I hated myself for wanting to be him, for wishing that I was him all because of your beautiful smile.” Seongwu leans his head against his and Jonghyun doesn’t know what to feel._

_Hearing the way Seongwu saw him that day is something that always made him curious especially when Seongwu acted so cold and almost rude to him the whole time they walked to school—and now he knows that it wasn’t just Seongwu. Minhyun was there all along and yet, he didn’t know._

_Just like the many times that he didn’t know anything._

_How he and Minhyun first met when they’re still young at his family’s hospital—how he promised Minhyun to meet him again but he didn’t show up because he was afraid, afraid that Minhyun would hate him for being the Grandson of the person who couldn’t save his Grandfather._

_Yet Minhyun came. He was there all along._

_How Seongwu was battling with his illness and decided to break up with him to protect him but of course he didn’t even try to understand why Seongwu changed and did that. How even with all the years he spent with Seongwu, he let his demons get the best of him._

_Because he’s afraid._

_Because he knows he’s never enough._

_“You’re self-loathing again, aren’t you?” Seongwu raises his chin and Jonghyun looks away. “I didn’t tell you this so you would blame yourself, I’m telling you this because it was never your fault.”_

_“From the beginning, I knew that Minhyun was there, though yes, I didn’t know it was him but still, I should have told you when I realized you didn’t know.”_

_“So…” Seongwu smiles tiredly “It’s actually me Jonghyun. It’s me who made this all complicated.” Seongwu looks at him apologetically, guilt evident on his face._

_“It’s not your fault, I didn’t even know—”_

_“Still, it doesn’t change the fact that I saw and knew from the beginning…” Seongwu says tiredly “I should have told you this from the beginning, told you this when I recognized Minhyun. But instead, I didn’t do anything. I didn’t do anything when I know I should have accepted it that even if it’s late I should have not stood between you two and ruined that chance that should have been yours from the start, because I was selfish. Because I wanted to be with you.”_

_“Ong...”_

_“I’m sorry Jonghyun… and please tell Minhyun that too.”_

_It was after an hour and when he’s sure that Seongwu’s asleep that Jonghyun called him._

_He’s nervous, he doesn’t know what to say, if he even has a right to say something or call Minhyun._

_A gruff unintelligible voice answers him and Jonghyun bites his tongue. He doesn’t say anything and instead listens to Minhyun’s mumbles and grunts. A couple of minutes passed when Jonghyun realized that the huffs stopped and he checks his phone. The call is still connected yet he can’t hear anything else aside from the A/C._

**_“It’s you.”_ ** _There. That voice that always makes him feel there’s a thousand butterflies in his tummy._

 **_“Jonghyun-ah…”_ ** _the voice that makes him feel whole._

 **_“Are you… eating well..?”_ ** _He doesn’t answer but instead releases a combination of a muffled sob and a chuckle_ **_“I’m glad… you have to eat well so that I won’t hug a skeleton once...”_ ** _Minhyun doesn’t finish his sentence and Jonghyun doesn't say a word. It’s almost been a year since he left, yet Minhyun is still waiting. Still waiting as if Jonghyun deserves that._

 **_“Don’t worry so much about me, okay?”_ ** _Minhyun whispers_ **_“I’m fine, I’m okay, I just miss you.”_ **

_“I miss you too,” he says voice tight in agony._

**_“I know. That’s why I’m still here.”_** _Minhyun says, and if Jonghyun is there in front of the other, he’ll see Minhyun looking up at the ceiling in his room, a warm smile on his face._

_“I’m sorry...” Jonghyun starts, he hears Minhyun about to cut him off but he continues. “I’m sorry for not recognizing you that day.”_

_Silence._

_“Why… why didn’t you tell me..?” Jonghyun asks and he hears Minhyun sigh._

**_“Would it change things Jonghyun..? Would things change if I said I was there?”_ **

_Minhyun asks him and he doesn’t answer. Because things won’t change. Things will stay the same. He will make the same decision of leaving Minhyun to be with Seongwu in his last moments._

_He will hurt both of them, make them carry the weight that he alone should only be carrying._

_“Still you should have told me.”_

**_“I didn’t tell you because it didn’t matter. I fell in love not with the boy that I had a crush in highschool nor the drunk guy who slept in my place and acted like a spoiled toddler asking me to do weird things…”_ ** _Minhyun chuckles and Jonghyun groans remembering that night where he in fact acted like a real toddler who threw tantrums at Minhyun’s—who’s a stranger to him that time—place._

**_“I fell in love with you, who Seongwu was a part of and if things didn’t happen, I don’t think we’ll meet again.”_ **

**_“So stop blaming yourself Jju, stop thinking that’s it’s all your fault, though it is partially since you’re irresistible,”_ ** _Minhyun jokes and Jonghyun laughs at that_ **_._ **

**_“good, glad that work.”_ ** _He hears the other softly chuckle on the line_ **_“just stop the blaming okay? it’s no one’s fault. So stop overthinking and accept it Jju, it’s not the time to wallow in guilt and depression, you went there to be with Seongwu, so be there for him.”_ **

_“Minhyun—”_

**_“Don’t worry about me and just take care of him and yourself,”_ ** _He hears Minhyun’s voice shaking and he knows that the other is trying not to cry._ **_“I’ll be here... when you’re ready.”_ **

_Jonghyun hopes that when that time comes, they’ll be okay._

_That even with all their scars,_

_They’ll be able to look at this with a smile._

 

 **_“Hi.”_ ** Seongwu’s voice wakes him up from his thoughts. He looks at the tv again and sees Seongwu dressed in a midnight blue shirt beaming at the camera. You can hear beeping noises in the background, and if the frame of the hospital bed on Seongwu’s back is not a dead giveaway that the time bomb would soon explode, Seongwu’s face that is so pale and how thin he is confirms it all.

Yet Seongwu is unbothered.

He’s smiling just like any normal day.

Smiling that beautiful smile of his—the one where people would fawn over him, the one that would want them to know them and fall for his charms.

The one that Jonghyun fell in love with.

 **_“Wait, let me play this as background music.”_ ** Seongwu presses something on his phone and in an instant, _Wild’s All My Life_ plays all throughout the room.

Jonghyun chuckles and shakes his head.

Of course, Ong Seongwu wouldn’t be Ong Seongwu without his dramatics.

 **_“It’s a beautiful song, isn’t it?”_ **Seongwu smirks and Jonghyun can’t help but smile fondly at the other as he sits on the coffee table in front of the TV.

 **_“This song actually gave me the idea and inspiration on how I wanted this exhibition to look like, and yes I know it doesn’t make sense with the different themes on the room, but that’s actually the theme: The Mess. How everything is all jumbled together not making any sense, like how we all are when it comes to life and love.”_ **Seongwu pauses and smiles.

**_“Two years ago, I was exactly like this. My head was a mess, I was lost, given up on life and just... ready to die.”_ **

**_“I was scared because I didn’t know what to do, where to start. I don’t know who to talk to and all I know is that I have to keep it a secret until I found a way to get better because I can’t hurt the people that I love…”_ ** Seongwu looks down on his hands and sighs **_“but it was a lost cause and I eventually ended up hurting them...”_ **

**_“I was so immersed in thinking that I have to protect them, that I forgot that they too would do the same for me.  I learned that the hard way when I woke up in the hospital and everyone that I tried to protect were all there, crying and cursing that I should have told them.”_ **

Jonghyun remembers that day vividly like it just happened days ago. He was with Minhyun that time when he got a call from a frantic Minki telling him he needs to go to the hospital as fast as he can.

...and when he got there, his world came crushing down.

Crumbling and burying him in it as he watches everyone he loves crying.  

Cheol hugging a still frantic crying Minki...

His mother hugging Seongwu’s sobbing mother…

And his father, doing his best to bring Seongwu back to life.

 **_“And just like that, I wasted a year of pushing everyone out with my stupid reason instead of being with them til the last moments,”_ **Seongwu looks back at the camera and Jonghyun knows that the other still feels guilty about that day that Jonghyun stands and reaches to comfort Seongwu only to realize that he doesn’t need to.

Because Seongwu’s gone.

 **_“and with that is this exhibition’s theme.”_ **Seongwu smiles coyly at the camera.

**_“Sometimes, we think that we could carry all the burden to protect the ones that we love that we forget that they too, wanted to do the same for us. A lot of times, we forget to take a moment and enjoy the simple things, happy moments, smiles, the laughter, because we’re all too immersed in ourselves, in mundane things that we always reason that ‘there’ll be a next time’.”_ **

**_“But sometimes, just like a snap of fingers—there won’t be any ‘next time’ and I want everyone to remember that.”_ **

**_“I know it’s hard to pause and enjoy everything with the way life is now, but still at least once, take a moment with your loved ones. Make them laugh, appreciate them, let them carry your burdens and remind them that you love them.”_ ** Seongwu smiles and leans forward to the camera. **_“Don’t wait until you can never say it, live in regret and ‘what ifs’.”_ **

**_“Life is short everyone, though it’s a mess with all the things that we have to do to survive, but never forget to appreciate every part of it and the people who are there for you that makes life worthwhile.”_ **

**_“And with that I’m closing my awesome speech. Thank you to everyone who helped me make this exhibition possible, to the guest who came, I hope you learned something and lastly,”_ **Seongwu pauses and smiles as if they’re in front of him.

 **_“To my mum, I’m sorry for not telling you sooner… I was afraid to put you through this again when I know how hard it is when dad left… don’t cry too much mum, okay? Dad and I will always be here with you, and we promise not to scare you at night.”_ **Seongwu winks and Jonghyun smiles fondly. It wouldn’t be Seongwu if he won’t crack jokes at the end.

 **_“To Cheol, you’ve found your ‘The One™️’.  I hope you won’t be the same stupid ass who’ll do the same mistake as me._ ** **”** _Seongwu makes a face before laughing at his childish behavior_ **_“And Jeonghan, please take care of Cheol, though he is a headache please understand that underneath—really underneath all that dumbassness, is a kindhearted boy who’ll do anything for you.”_ **

**_“To our Minki.”_ **Seongwu smiles fondly and if Minki is here, Jonghyun is sure that he’ll be crying out of control.

 **_“Our very strong and sassy diva genius… thank you for being the best friend that I didn’t need in life.”_ **Seongwu sticks his tongue and goes onto a bout of cackles.

 **_“I’m kidding, but seriously, I hope you find the courage to let other people in. To let yourself for once be the one to be cared for and not you caring for everyone. We know how strong you are and we also know how you hate showing your weaknesses but you have to learn and accept that side of you. You can’t always be the Diva right?”_ ** Seongwu raises his eyebrows and points a finger at the camera as if he is reprimanding Minki. **_“And remember a diva too, needs a knight in shining armor who’s last name is Kwak and is living in Seoul. So give in demon, stop controlling your feelings and just be true to yourself, don’t make him wait for too long.”_ **

**_“And really chincha wanjeon lastly, Kim Jonghyun. The insufferable Jonghyun…”_ **Seongwu hums and Jonghyun bites his lip.

 **_“The time that we’ve shared is the best of the best. Every moment with you is the best that I have ever had, and I couldn’t ask for more.”_ **Seongwu smiles gently at the camera and Jonghyun feels himself breaking apart.

**_“Thank you for being with me, for understanding and forgiving me from the things that I did, for loving me. I hope by the time that you’re watching this, I am with you, and if not I’m so sorry.”_ **

Seongwu pauses and wipes the tears in his cheeks and Jonghyun looks away.

He wants to scream.

He wants to scream it all out but instead he bites his tongue.

Biting until the pain overpowers his emotions.

 **_“I’m sorry that I have to leave you. And just like the countless times that I’ve told you, I hope you won’t be sad for too long. I will always be here with you Jong, so smile my love.”_ **Seongwu gently says, his voice breaking at the end.

**_“Life is beautiful and short to wallow in the darkness. I want you to find yourself, who you really want to be and be happy. I want to see you smile brighter, to hear you laugh louder, and to love and be loved in return.”_ **

**_“I love you Jonghyun, always have and always will. I’ll see you in our next life.”_ **

Seongwu’s smile in the TV fades and Jonghyun feels his legs give in. He instantly holds onto the table and accidentally pushes a book out of it, making it fall on the floor with a thud.

Jonghyun picks the book from the floor and takes a closer look at it.

It’s not a book, it’s an old scrapbook that’s addressed for him.

“You really…” Jonghyun doesn’t even know what to say as he goes through pages of pages of the scrapbook. It was all during the time they’re dating, from their first trip to Jeju when Seongwu asked him out, to their last trip together to Taipei during their college days.

The scrapbook was full of a lot of things, the lyrics of their favorite songs, movie tickets, plane tickets and pictures of them together.

Some smiling, one when he was sleeping in his desk, when he’s immersed in his game and Seongwu’s making a face, one on their third anniversary as a couple at their favorite restaurant, and the last one was their first ever date in L.A.

Below the picture was a handwritten note.

_For being with me through my darkest days,_

_For withstanding this agonizing time,_

_For holding my hand as the bomb ticks louder and louder,_

_For giving me the courage to not be afraid and accept my fate,_

_For loving me,_

_Thank you Jonghyun._

Jonghyun closes the scrapbook and falls on the floor.

For the first time, he lets his emotions take hold of him.

Letting the _pain_ , _grief_ , and _longing_ crush him down as memories of _their first kiss, knowing looks, teasing,_ and _the countless times that Seongwu told him ‘I love you’s’_ embraces him.

_“It will be okay love, I will always be here with you.”_

 

**_8 months later_ **

“Be careful,” Jonghyun says, brushing off the dirt from the boy’s pants who fell off from his bike. “This thing is dangerous so always be careful, okay?” He says, fixing the boy’s helmet.

The boy thanks him and continues his way. He watches the boy and sighs in relief when the boy reaches his mother unscathed. He picks up the box of cake and the Iced Caramel Macchiato that he placed on the bench and starts walking again.

He stops when he sees the familiar place that he visited countless of times and walks towards their spot. He takes a seat, taking out the things that he bought.

“Hi, it’s been a while, isn't it?” He starts, opening the box of Strawberry Tiramisu “I’ve brought your favorite cake like I promised last time which is why I was so late.” He continues, placing a fork on the cake.

“The coffeeshop that we always get it from is on renovation so I had to look around.” He says, taking a forkful from the strawberry tiramisu. “Actually, this is better than that one,” he hums in delight, taking another bite.

“Too bad you can’t try it, right?” Jonghyun teases, sipping his Iced Caramel Macchiato, another favorite of Seongwu’s. “I can hear you whining Seongwu. Also I know how you promised us that you’ll always be with us, but can you please chill and stop coming to Minki’s not so pure dreams..? I swear I’m tired of hearing him scream in the middle of the night because apparently you cockblocked his moment with Aron.” Jonghyun chuckles and shakes his head in amusement.

He sees a message pop-out on his phone and his smile grew wider. It’s a message from Baekho telling him that Daehwi (after a year and a half of postponing it) finished recording his part on the song.

“Daehwi finished recording the song Seongwu-yah...” he announces with a grin. “I bet you’re so happy right now that you’re probably wrecking havoc in heaven.”

Jonghyun looks up to the sky, a smile tugged at his lips as he watches the clouds move above.

“I’m planning to go back home soon _love_.” He murmurs, “I think it’s time that we go back, though I’m not sure about Minki… you know how he is.” He shrugs. “But it’s not like we can stay here forever, and I doubt you’ll like that too.”

“Minki… our sassy demon diva Minki…” Jonghyun chuckles and sighs, he’s worried about Minki than himself to be honest.

The first time that he opened the subject about them going back to Korea, Minki looked at him as if he shaved Lucky’s fur.

The second time, well it was just as horrible because Cheol barge in the middle of their almost peaceful conversation to announce that Aron left the Kwak Empire, resulting to Minki blaming himself that it’s his fault as Mariah Carey’s songs play nonstop in their apartment for days.

“He’ll be okay right? He’ll be able to handle it well, right?” He asks looking down at Seongwu, a strong wind suddenly breezes at him and Jonghyun nods.

“Okay that’s creepy, but I’ll take that as a yes.” He takes another bite of the cake and a sip from his coffee.

“And how about you…?” He asks, voice gentle “will you be okay? We won’t be able to visit you every now and then…” instead of a strong wind, a warm and soft breeze engulfs him as a butterfly gently perches on his nose.

Reminding him of Seongwu’s words thatit doesn’t matter, because no matter where they are,  _he will always be with them._

“Of course, why did I even ask.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> MILK TEAAAAAAAAAAAAA--WE NEED ONE HELLA MILK TEA. kidding XD  
> actually I do need one :(
> 
> but anyway, I'll keep this short (as short as I can) and just want to thank everyone again who helped me writing this.  
> this fic was long overdue and went to all sorts of edits, postponing, and writer's block and I'm glad that finally, the first part is done. *YAZZZZZZ*  
> This is actually the "beginning of the end" of my first ever fic, so I'm so happy and relieved (lol) that it's reaching it's end just in time as my first year as a ff writer.  
> but anyway enough of that we have part 2 for the longer notes BWAHAHAHAHAHA KIDDING GUYS!
> 
> and lastly, to the people who read this, thank you in advance, I hope you enjoyed this :*


	2. The Bathroom

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “And what about me Seongwu?” Jonghyun asks, voice cracking. “What about me? Have you ever thought what will happen to me once you’re gone?” Jonghyun adds, voice strained.
> 
> “I do Jonghyun—everyday, every hour, every fucking minute—that’s all I think about.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place after their date in LA (the one with Ed Sheeran’s Perfect playing as bgm)
> 
> I don’t know why I even wrote this, but this keeps on popping in my head, begging and nagging me to write it for the last couple of months and since I promised myself that I’ll post a fic every month, I went f**k it—let’s go through this angst again so hahaha here it goes. 
> 
> Ps: this isn’t proof-read so there might be tons of errors 🙃)
> 
> Recommended listening:[The 1975’s I Couldn’t Be More In Love 💔](https://open.spotify.com/track/2HwwGKPcI0rqnsFCqATXuj?si=R4PsLCljSHKfZgWAze4AwA)

A pair of pajamas by the bathroom sink brings a smile on his face. He takes the pajamas and wears it. A soft chuckle then escapes from his lips as he takes in the sight of two toothbrushes next to each other, one with a turtle design, while the other has a seal. He takes the turtle toothbrush and starts brushing his teeth, remembering how Jonghyun told him to use the turtle one so that he’ll be reminded to brush his teeth gently and carefully instead of roughly, and in Jonghyun’s terms, “scraping” it.

 

He turns the faucet off and sits on the chair, reaching for the towel on the counter and plugging in the blower. By the time he starts towel drying his hair, he sees Jonghyun leaning on the bathroom door, smiling at him.

 

“Hey, you.” He greeted. Jonghyun answers him with a warm smile and walks to where he is.

 

“Hey you, too.” Jonghyun murmurs, beaming and embracing him, enveloping him in warmth. “How are you feeling?”

 

“Good,” he hummed, leaning in to Jonghyun. The other smiles and places a light kiss on his forehead.

 

“Good, I’m glad.” Jonghyun kisses him, and takes the towel in his hand. He stares at their reflection in the mirror, watching the way Jonghyun’s lips curved into a fond smile as he dries his hair. He wishes it would always be like this—Jonghyun, happily smiling like he usually would and not worrying for him. That time would stop and just remain like this. All their worries and fear aside, and let them just enjoy everything and make the most of their remaining time together.

 

“Seongwu-yah...”

 

“Hmm..?” He stares at Jonghyun’s eyes through the mirror and sees the careful way Jonghyun’s smiling at him as the latter bites his lip. He sighed, knowing that time have started to tick again. He takes Jonghyun’s hand from his hair, and intertwines it with his. “I don’t want to Jong, I’ve told you that already.”

 

“I know... but still,” Jonghyun pleads, leaning in to him, chin resting at the crook of his shoulder. Their eyes meet through the mirror, and he sees the way Jonghyun’s looking at him, begging him to consider it again. “it’s not too late, maybe this will work and...”

 

“It won’t.” He said, as gentle as he can. He watches Jonghyun look away from him, masking his feelings as the latter’s embrace on him gets tighter. He lets go of one of Jonghyun’s hand and caresses his cheek. “We both know that it won’t Jonghyun, so please...”

 

“But we have to try.” Jonghyun cuts him off, stubborn as ever. He sighed and Jonghyun buries his face in his neck. “We have to try Seongwu, we have to try everything to keep you...” Jonghyun paused then looks back at him, face etched in pain. He turns and kisses Jonghyun on the cheek as the latter closes his eyes, his forehead creasing. “We can’t lose you—I can’t lose you, Seongwu.”

 

“You won’t, I’ll always be here for you even if I’m not here physically—”

 

“Don’t say that.” Jonghyun snapped, glaring at him. He takes a deep breath, fingers threading through Jonghyun’s hair, gently massaging it to keep the older calm.

 

“I have to Jonghyun, and you have to accept the fact that sooner or later,I’ll be gone.”

 

“You won’t. If you listen to us, maybe you won’t.”

 

He sighs tiredly. “I don’t want to spend the rest of my days in the hospital, writhing in pain with whatever treatment that we all know, wouldn’t work. I’ll be in the hospital sooner or later anyway, so please...”

 

“We won’t know until we try Seongwu.” Jonghyun whispered through gritted teeth, tone sharp as a knife. “For once, please—just think about it. Think about your mother. Do you know how hard this is for her, seeing her son helplessly in pain as you give everything up without even trying?”

 

“Jonghyun, please—”

 

“How about Minki and Cheol? Do you not care about them? That you can’t even for a second, listen to them begging you to at least fucking try?” He doesn’t answer and instead stares at Jonghyun’s fuming face. He keeps quiet and remains still as he watches Jonghyun’s eyes glisten with tears.

 

“And what about me Seongwu?” Jonghyun asks, voice cracking, “What about me? Have you ever thought what will happen to me once you’re gone?” Jonghyun adds, voice strained.

 

“I do Jonghyun—everyday, every hour, every fucking minute—that’s all I think about.” 

 

“Then why is it still the same? Why won’t you listen to us?” The latter asked, voice tight in anguish that it feels like his heart is being squeezed tightly that he can barely breath.

 

He closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. “Because I don’t want to give you false hopes.”

 

“I’d rather take that than this Seongwu. That’s better than watching you give up and not trying.” Jonghyun answered, pinning him to make him understand. He takes Jonghyun’s hand that’s on his arm and holds it, eyes never straying away from Jonghyun’s, staring at the beautiful eyes that always reminded him of the stars at night but now looks like the empty night sky as Jonghyun stares at him in different kinds of pain, of feelings deeply stored and kept for too long to spare him and to make sure that he won’t know how hard this is for him.

 

But Jonghyun got it all wrong. He knew it from the start. Knew how hard it is for the latter and that no matter how hard Jonghyun tries to mask everything and keep it in, he would always know.

 

He knows Jonghyun through and through. Knows how Jonghyun would bite his lip harder in worry when he thinks that he’s not looking. The way Jonghyun would always ask Minki to accompany him when he has to leave. The way Jonghyun would clench his knuckles until it would turn white whenever he would cough; how Jonghyun’s voice cracks when he talks to him when he thought that he’s asleep and the way his lips quiver when he kisses him a good night.

 

“Just for once Seongwu, for once, just listen to me... I’m begging you, please... let’s try.” Jonghyun pleaded and he looks away. He doesn’t want to. He doesn’t wantto hope when he knows it’s too late. He already tried, he went to countless hospitals, asked different doctors on what treatment he can do, but it always ends up the same—there’s nothing that can help him because it’s already too late. And that’s the reason why he doesn’t want to undergo treatment. He doesn’t want to see his mother, their friends and Jonghyun believe in false hopes only to be crushed by it. They’re already in too much pain now, so what more when the treatment fails and takes him earlier than expected? He doesn’t want that to happen and he’s rather spend and enjoy his numbered days as normally as he could with them before the time bomb ticks and takes him away.

 

“Remember the last time we went on a date back in Seoul?” He starts, looking back at Jonghyun. The older curses, telling him that now is not the time for that. “C’mon, just hear me out Jong,” he chuckled lifelessly, squeezing Jonghyun’s hand. The latter sighs, but eventually agrees with a nod.“Remember I asked you to promise me two things that day?”

 

He sees Jonghyun look at him confused, then stares at him in understanding and panic as he realizes that the promise that he agreed once and laughed at turned out to be real.

 

Maybe he’s an ass for asking Jonghyun to promise him those two things, and he will be an ass for the rest of his life (and in his grave) for even making Jonghyun do it—but that’s the only way. He knows that Jonghyun will never break his promise and this is the only way to make the latter accept things and hopefully, would learn to let him go.

 

“First...” he starts, taking both of Jonghyun’s hand and interlacing it with his. Jonghyun looks away from him and he can see the way Jonghyun’s lips trembled and his jaw clenched. “If a time comes and we find out that I’m sick and dying... promise me that you’ll let me live my remaining time as normally as I could.”

 

“You can’t use that on me.” Jonghyun spits and glares at him—face livid in anger. “I didn’t know—”

 

“You promised Jonghyun.” He reminds with a tired grin. Jonghyun glares at him and looks away. He hears the latter mumble a _‘fuck you, Ong Seongwu,’_ and he can’t help but chuckle. He misses the times when Jonghyun used to be like this whenever he teases him and a lot of times, he wishes Jonghyun would be just like the old him, instead of seeing him as something so fragile as if he would die any moment if he won’t be careful around him.

 

“Maybe after this,” He teased, pulling Jonghyun closer, and the latter raises an eyebrow at him. He wants to tease Jonghyun more, but the way Jonghyun looks at him in panic with tears, shimmering in his eyes as the latter realizes the next promise that he agreed on, makes him stop. He offers a warm smile, but Jonghyun looks away from him.

 

“I don’t want to hear it Seongwu.” Jonghyun interrupts him before he can even say anything. He turns around and faces Jonghyun, his hand caressing the latter’s face. Jonghyun leans in to his palm and it pains him as he watches the way Jonghyun looks at him vulnerably as tears start to run down his cheeks. “I won’t do it Seongwu, I won’t fucking do it.” The other states, voice cracking.

 

He stands and places a soft kiss on Jonghyun’s forehead, then on his adorable nose, and his cheeks that’s glistened with tears. He takes a step back and waits until Jonghyun looks at him and smiles warmly at Jonghyun when he does. He kisses him on the lips and hugs Jonghyun tight, placing a light kiss on the older’s shoulder as he tells Jonghyun the last promise that he swore to do.

 

“When I’m no longer around, promise me you’ll go on with your life and find _happiness_.”

**Author's Note:**

> MILK TEAAAAAAAAAAAAA--WE NEED ONE HELLA MILK TEA. kidding XD  
> actually I do need one :(
> 
> but anyway, I'll keep this short (as short as I can) and just want to thank everyone again who helped me writing this.  
> this fic was long overdue and went to all sorts of edits, postponing, and writer's block and I'm glad that finally, the first part is done. *YAZZZZZZ*  
> This is actually the "beginning of the end" of my first ever fic, so I'm so happy and relieved (lol) that it's reaching it's end just in time as my first year as a ff writer.  
> but anyway enough of that we have part 2 for the longer notes BWAHAHAHAHAHA KIDDING GUYS!
> 
> and lastly, to the people who read this, thank you in advance, I hope you enjoyed this :*


End file.
